As we grow and expand our capacity for goodness, it may be shocking to hear an internal voice that is not quite on board for the level of growth that we calling in. I spent the majority of yesterday working on my new offering. I was enliven and felt a creative surge that I have never felt before. As the day began to wind down night fell, I started to hear an inner voice. She spoke in flashes of fear. Playing scenarios of impending doom. She would talk sweetly as a little child would, fearful but trying to get the words out. I could feel my reflexive action to silence her and push any insecurity away. My lack of desire to allow the thoughts to creep in is a deeply implanted coping mechanism that has served me well. Who wants to feel insecure?…not me. Because I have worked to be able to sit with these little ones, I knew that I would have to turn and face her. When we don’t acknowledge the parts of ourselves that are not on board with the velocity of our creations, they end up handicapping us from the back ground. They will feel the need to fight at all cost to be heard, even if it means to self sabotage. So, this morning, I could have plowed through with my plans, filming another days worth of content or I could let it all go and tend to what needs to be tended. I chose the latter. She is me and I am her and as I grow, I am given endlessly opportunities to continue to heal the parts of me that are still tender, so that I can bring my work into the world with clarity and truth. I cannot offer to hold people through the depths of work that I do without doing the work myself. I so appreciate being given the endless exploration.
